One of Society's Many Traps

Not sure where to start today.

What an interesting thing life is. Is it even a thing? Maybe 'event' is better suiting. Life is an event, after all. I do not believe it's over after life, it didn't start when we were born. Life is just time. On this planet. In this body. Living with these people. I believe we are in contact with everyone and everything before we were given this body as a tool to navigate this planet. We know everything, everything we need to know is already inside us, we just have to find it. So many people go to others for help because they believe they 'know' more than we do. In a way, they might, but for our self-help we need, we know everything. We go to others to help ourselves to try to identify it so we can tackle it ourselves. "They can only show you the door, but it is you who has to walk through it."

At this moment in my life, I'm struggling trying to find my way. Find the ultimate answer to the "What to do with my life" question that plagues all people. Some people know what they want to do, and lots of us don't. We are told that after high school, go to university, which lots of us do and get a high paying job. Spending money that we don't have to get a higher paying job. I am one of those people who didn't go to university. Well, actually, I did. After high school, I wasn't planning on going to university, but my older brother told me to at least have a back-up plan. I wanted to travel after high school, I had planned on having a gap year, rediscovering my homeland, Australia, ever since we had moved to Canada. But since I had no money, I decided maybe it was a good idea to have a back-up plan and so I applied to a university on the west coast of Canada, in a tiny town called Nanaimo. I studied Japanese and Liberal Studies and Theatre there for one semester. I loved the studying, the classwork and the professors, but I didn't like where I lived in residence. I had no friends, except for the one I made in the internationals building, but it just wasn't for me. I came back to live at home and taught skiing. Near the end of the ski season, I thought, maybe I should go and teach skiing in Australia, so I applied to a few ski hills and got a job with a ski hill a few hours from Canberra in the Snowy Mountains. So I headed off for a magnificent adventure! I only ended up staying at that ski hill for two and a half weeks. I hated it! But I didn't let that quench my thirst for adventure. I went back to Sydney and decided on what I was going to do with the remainder 5 months I had away. I booked a tour that started in Melbourne and went up through the red centre up to Darwin. Best 18 days of my life. Best $7 I ever spent on that tour was riding a camel around a little yard. Stayed in Darwin for an extra week, and booked another tour in New Zealand. I loved my adventure away! Re-connected with some amazing people, and met fantastic new ones. I came back to Canada with an idea of what I wanted to do. Midwifery it was. I applied to an Australian university and a Canadian one. I taught skiing again in Canada, liked it less than the year before. I got into the australian university, but to save money, said no and waited to get into the canadian one, as midwifery was just beginning here so who would apply to do it? Well, I didn't get in. As I heard afterwards, there were only 20 people admitted into the program. The competitive average was a 4.0, well I had a 3.7, there was all of three universities in all of Canada that offered the midwifery program, all of them only taking all of 20 students. Well, I was dumb-founded. I had no idea I wasn't going to get into the program. So here I was, teaching skiing, not making a whole lot of money, and doomed to spend another year out of school. So here I am heading into my third gap-year.
This year, I applied to two canadian universities. What I've come to realize is, this world we have isn't here to help us achieve our passions. The human society has turned into a money-maker business. And no one cares about anything but money.
I haven't given up on my midwifery hopes. My plan is to get an under-grad, teach english abroad (because I can't do this without an under-grad degree), then get into a midwifery school. I don't have to achieve my goal now, but I am not getting sucked into this loan business. I want to pay for everything with my own money, but it's going to be hard. I will probably have to, in the end, take out a loan, but I want to travel in my life. I want to be able to travel and explore the world with no money limits. I want to travel to Morocco, Greece, Turkey, South Korean, Japan, Thailand, Iceland, Sweden, Norway, France, South Africa, back to England and Australia. I want to see the world, full of it's different cultures, languages, religions. I want to see the world, in all her glory, before the end of my life event.

Long days..!!

Yesterday was my birthday! Wahoo! Although it ended up being quite lousy as I was working from 8:30 am to 9 pm. But, on the bright side, everyone wished me a happy birthday which was a very nice and made me feel very ^^ !
Today was much more relaxing, as I worked from 8:30-1:30 and so I had the whole afternoon to relax and get some extra shut eye. Although, tomorrow is going to be a big one too because I'm working from 8:30-9 again! And then I'm working my regular weekend hours of 8:30-5.
What is life if you don't get short on sleep a few times I suppose. Although, I do quite enjoy being bright-eyed and bushy tailed every morning when I go to work. Which isn't happening after those long shifts. I hope they don't expect me to work preschool the day after tomorrow. haha I'll keep you posted on that point.
So even though it means I'm putting money in the bank- I don't like being short of energy. I don't like feeling that I'm not putting all I've got into my work and whatever else I'm directing myself towards. That makes sense right? I don't want to burn myself out for money. That would be absolutely ridiculous.
My parents are laughing at me now because I'm looking 'fierce'.
I haven't done anything for my birthday- I haven't gotten even one present! I've only gotten a card from mum and dad and a card posted from my brother who left New Zealand today and gone back to Singapore. :) That made me happy, but that's it! But that's okay- I'm super busy with work, and maybe we'll postpone it to my next and only day off next week- Tuesday.

Hopefully we'll get to do something awesome.