Saturday Night

So tonight there is a dinner thing going on at 6pm. It's now 6:38 pm. I was finishing my Liberal Studies assignment so that's the reason it's this much later. The reason I'm not there is because I chickened.....I was convincing myself to go. I got my plate and I was standing in the door, I unlocked the door and went out, locked my door and walked down the hallway, then I chickened out and turned around and came back to my room. Am I pathetic or what? I told myself, Just go! Just go, there'll be lots of people there. Go and socialize! Be a social butterfly! And then, I said Fighting! And walked out the door, then promptly turned around and went back to my room. I'm so pathetic. It's depressing. I can't seem to convince myself to go and get free food. And meet people! My god, I've been complaining I haven't met anybody and here I am sitting in my room, too afraid to go to the building dinner. How pathetic am I....it's embarrassing. Why should I not go? Honestly..why? There's no good reason not to go. I can get free food, and meet people that live in the same building that I do! It's good! But why can't I talk myself into going? Someone knock some sense into me!
I should just go!
I should go!
I should go.
I should go!
Why am I not going?
AAGHHH, whyyyy??! i'm such a chickennn. Okay, *deep breath*
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I can't do it!
NNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!
WWWWHHHHYYYYYYYY???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! why am I such a chickenn?? It's pathetic! No one is going to bite my head off...I don't think.... I should go! I should go. Let's go Heidi. It's 6:46 now. Let's do this thing!
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Ah....I can't do it. What a pathetic chicken I am. Why can't I talk some sense into me?
OMG
I'm such a loser...go Heidi go! Gooooooo!!!\
It'll be good for me! It'll be no different from when I went to the theatre party on Thursday! No different!! Why am I so afraid?! I had fun that time, and I made friends! It'll be the same this time... why am I so shy...scared...nervous? WHAT THE HECK?!?
O.O
:((((( this sucks.
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now it's 6:49....I'll be almost an hour late. Should I go? Why am I so indecisive? Someone tell me, should I go or not? It's a good opportunity to meet people...but...this sucks alot. Why don't I just go!!!

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